What if Marriage is like making a garden?

What if Marriage is like making a garden?

I’ll admit, I have cried at weddings, my thoughts are, “They don’t know what they are getting into.”  I know this sounds bad but bear with me – I’m hoping to turn it positive in a bit.

What if the plot of land you buy starts out with weeds (like my garden did).  I see those weeds as hopes, dreams, expectations, imperfections and human frailty.  We bring into marriage ourselves.  We are full of hopes, dreams, expectations, imperfections and human frailty.

What if after just sitting and dreaming in the garden for a while the next step is to either pull out all those weeds or rototill them all in.  What if that hurts?  During the process of getting rid of our imperfections, God also dashes our hopes and dreams. 

What if we look at the barren, dry, empty ground and think of our choices:

This is too hard; I give up.

Since you refuse to meet my needs, I refuse to meet yours.

Because this is hard and looks fruitless, I don’t want to put any more into it.

What if brokenness is part of God’s plan?

2 Corinthians 12:10 For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Instead of giving up, what if we go to God, give Him everything, admit we can’t do it, give up on doing it ourselves and choose to do what he says.  What if we decide to plant seeds – add things that look dead to the already dead ground.

What if we decide to work hard even though there seems to be no return.  We water and wait.  Sometimes waiting is even harder than the tilling.  The not knowing – not being in control, not having a plan.  Ugh!

What if we do have flowers.  Some of them are beautiful and fun.  But there are also weeds, and it’s still hard work.  Also, it seems like we are constantly babying this plot of land.  Other people walk by and compliment your work.  And then, after all that hard work, what if everything dies or seems to die anyway. 

It’s the fall.  It’s the winter.  Things look dead.  Trials are hard.  The glass is half empty.

What if seasons come and seasons go, and the work only seems to stop when there is a feeling of dead.

What if even the harvest, even the good times seem like work that is overwhelming.  Kids can be a constant, draining presence.  Yet a beautiful and fun joy as well.  Like ever bearing fruit, we know they are a blessing, but the care seems to be never-ending.

What if we feel tired and drained?

We can choose to sit; we can choose to enjoy, we can stop the business and look around and take it in and smile.  And we might.

What if God says, “Stop, enjoy, don’t work so hard.”  I did feel that call seven years into my garden.  God said, “Take a year off, take a year of jubilee.”  I felt pretty anxious.  Up until January, I prepared.  I pruned all I could, buried the strawberries had the garden hunker down.  I didn’t water or prune or harvest to freeze for one whole year – January to January.

Some things did die, but most didn’t.  I felt pruned – but I was amazed at the freedom!  No more watering!

What if the hard work pays off!?

What if you can enjoy the fruits of your labor even if it is overwhelming!  Now I am having other people pick because we have so much fruit.  I still work at it but not as much as I used to.  The flowers still bloom because they are perennials, they multiply, they grow.  The garden is happy!

What if I was wrong about how hard marriage is? 

I even sell plants because they are just going to make more.

What If that’s what having grandchildren is like?

What if we really do reap what we sow?  Even in relationships?  What if we choose to work hard and in return, we are blessed with love.

What if the hard work is worth it!

One of the laws of harvest is you reap at a different time than you sow.  What if the harvest is wonderful!

Galatians 6:9

New Living Translation
So let's not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up.