The problem of Pain

 The problem of pain

As I hear that people tried to escape Afghanistan and that people are suffering because of hurricanes, tornadoes, or other acts of God it makes me ponder why this is allowed by our loving and merciful God.  I ponder how can he see and not suffer alongside his creation as he hears our tears and our cries.  We all have experienced the suffering of some kind – whether it’s the baby who just came out of its comfortable womb to have the first cry of displeasure to the student who has angst about their studies and then to those that are dead on the tarmac because they would rather flee than fight. 

We are created with mirror neurons – we feel pain when we see it.  God made us this way.  I know he suffers with us.  He chose to come down, enter our world and die.  He enters in.  Yet, he still allows it. 

If we gave a child everything they wanted – if we always said yes and never trained them, never let them experience hardship they would be spoiled, not resilient, wimpy, and rotten.

I believe that earth is our testing grounds.

We seek, crave, and strive for comfort.  If we have it and stop growing then something is wrong.  The constant desire for growth makes us better people.  Even those who achieve their goals create new goals.

Every good story has hardship, angst,  something to overcome, or the main character changes and grows.  Without drama, stories are not full-bodied.

An example is gardening.  As a gardener, I am ruthless.  I prune and kill as soon as a flower begins to fade.  I have no mercy.  I take my favorite of the flower rhizomes and divide them with no remorse.  They are sometimes rendered into several different pieces.  I take seeds from my favorite sunflowers.  I use force to break it open so all the seeds can be thrown all over the garden.  Then, in the spring when they start to grow, I thin the babies.  I kill those that are spaced too close.

When I see the news it feels like we are God’s garden.  As the gardener I am right, the plants have no say in if they are tossed in the green bin or not.  God is sovereign, he is right.  We may suffer, He did too.  We may cry out, He did also.  He passed the test. 

The Bible says in Romans 9:20-2, (English Standard Version)  20 But who are you, O man, to answer back to God? Will what is molded say to its molder, “Why have you made me like this?” 21 Has the potter no right over the clay, to make out of the same lump one vessel for honorable use and another for dishonorable use?

 Each of us has a different story.  We don’t choose it.  We don’t choose our date of birth, color, or disposition.  We do choose what we can do with them.  I think the problem of pain brings up that Earth is not our final destination.  It is only a stop along the path.  I do like it when Riddick says, “Me? I’m just passing thru.” 

So we don’t need to be so caught up in the temporary.  Yet, I am.  We don’t need to care about what we eat or drink.  Yet I do.  We can let go of unnecessary goals.  And that is so hard.  When we are pruned we can look down at what has been taken or we can look up to who has pruned and say, “What now?” 

I struggle with selfishness and selfish goals possibly just like you.  Pain may bring us back in line or it may be a reminder that this is not where we belong. 

What do you think?  I know that without pain we wouldn’t go to the Dr. or counseling, or try to change things.  I also know that every individual has experienced letdown, sorrow, and disappointment.  

New Job 8/30/21

 Dear Family,

Our cat has chosen Bobby as her favorite.  Bobby does not reciprocate these feelings, especially around 3 AM when she would like to be petted, and goes to him.  This gives me joy.  Am I a horrible person?

Bobby made brisket and scalloped potatoes one evening.  It is yummy.  Then he made some brisket into chili.  Even better!  I am so glad Bobby loves to cook.

Color Wars during Youth Group always makes for fun pictures.  I love that the youth enjoy themselves. 

I love coming home to our “full house.”  Bobby and Seth are good company and I delight in the gentle acknowledgment of a, “Hi.”  Nothing big, they don’t get up or anything.  I am just glad they are present. 

Adriel came over when I was not home and ate an overripe banana.  There were four with a banana bread recipe sitting on top of them.   I came home later and went to make the bread.  No bananas???  Weirdest feeling ever.  I felt like a toddler who says, “Someone came in, stole the one thing you are looking for, and ran away.”  Seth had no information except that it was no him.  Bobby, the same.  Adriel did text back after a while to say the rest of the bananas were on the top shelf of the freezer door.  The stems had fallen off when she took one.  Mystery solved.  Yay!  I haven’t lost my marbles yet.

Adriel also came over once when I was home.  I offered homemade granola and was dishing it up.  She said, “More” and it reminded me of Men in Black where the alien in an Edgar suit says, “More” to sugar.  I had to laugh.  I was sad that I was the only one eating granola.  Adriel also expressed sadness that her food doesn’t disappear in her apartment.  She is alone and has, “So much food.”  Learning to live and make a budget has its ups and downs. 

I start my new job picking out items for internet shoppers on Tuesday (Tomorrow).  The hiring manager had seen me doing this for instacart and was glad I chose to apply at the Broadway Fred Meyers.  Bobby and I are excited I get to do a similar job without using up our car.  Win-Win!  

As we are going – may God be glorified.  As we encounter others – may we represent God and ourselves well.  May we have grace for the hurting, love for all, and peace knowing that this really is not our home.  Love and hugs, Cristy

 

8/23/21

 Dear family,

                Shy, sly, and super-fly; that’s Seth’s smile.  I love it when he smiles because that joy is something he is trying to hide.  I sense shyness in how he holds back.  He is sly because sometimes he’s playing a joke.  He’s gauging if I get it. 

                Seth mowed the lawn this week.  This excites me because it promptly rained a day or two afterward.  Fall is just around the corner!

                I was talking with my dad, mom, and Uncle over the phone about Jackie Chan.  I think he’s fun to watch.  I looked him up on Wikipedia and told them fun facts as they were playing scrabble in Seattle.  I found out he was in his first movie at the age of 6.  After hanging up I found the movie on YouTube and watched it.  Seth was confused as to, “Why are you watching a movie you clearly don’t understand?”  It is not in English but the little people are adorable and their stunts are energizing.  I was cutting watermelon so I was only half-watching anyway.

                Bobby took Seth grocery shopping and taught him how to cook salmon and asparagus.  YUM!  I enjoyed the break from shopping and the delicious food.  How fun that dad is teaching son how to cook.  Yay!

                Bobby also made green beans (from a friend's garden) and spaghetti for dinner one night.  I enjoy the bounty, blessings, and hard work.  What a wonderful life we live.

                Bobby and I enjoyed dinner with the Kirkpatrick family.  What fun and sweet people!  It is nice to get out of the house every so often.  They cooked amazing food.  We are blessed by their friendship.

                Bobby took me to red robin this week.  We enjoyed our time together.

                Water kickball was fun even in seventy-degree weather.  I enjoyed taking pictures and seeing the youth again after a month of Bobby being at camp or camping. 

                Adriel came over Monday for lunch and I delight in her company.  She’s our cameo appearance.  The flower that brings beauty wherever she goes (and laundry).

                Thanks for praying with me about my job situation.  I had two good interviews and am now waiting for their decision to hire me or not. 

                May you also be excited about the future that God holds in your life.  May you enjoy the life we are given and may you pray with me for those in the world who face so much hardship.

Love and hugs,

 

Cristy

8/16/21

 Dear Family,

                Miscommunication usually ends in some form of disaster.  Thank Goodness hair grows out.  Seth was talking about wanting to be bald.  I said, “I won’t shave you but how about 1/8” and I thought we were agreed.  He’s not too happy to have it that short but Bobby said, “Don’t give the OK sign to anyone and you should be fine”.  Sorry folks, no pictures.

                Two families blessed us with veggies this week.  I put out free sunflower seeds.   If you want some, there are more on the corner of Riverbend and Wallace.  Someone grabbed a couple sunflower heads then left free tomatoes, green beans, and zucchini on our doorstep.  Bobby had just received a couple free zucchini from a Youth group family so we were starting to wonder if we needed to be more vigilant.  Bobby made yummy chicken curry with zuchinni and I made zuchinni brownies.  Yum!  We are OK with being creative.  It is wonderful to be blessed and loved.

                Bobby enjoyed a camping trip with the youth group last week.  He texted often and I am glad he is home safe.

                I enjoy watching “The Chosen” with our family.  It adds to biblical text but that gives us a lot to talk about.  I like the, “What if” aspect of the show, and humor is always welcome.  I need to laugh and love feeling joy.

                I enjoy watching Seth play VR.  He is up and about.  It’s adorable.

                Adriel came over for lunch Monday.  I enjoy her company.  She is pleasant and constantly short for time.  I can’t imagine doing so much work.  I wish her well and enjoy the moments we have.

                May you also find family precious and endearing.  May your heart rejoice in each moment God places friends and veggies at your door.  Love and hugs, Cristy

8/9/21

Dear Family,

                God is working on me!  This week the Job I have enjoyed the most in my life let me go saying it’s because of unwanted contact.  I was leaving my card and “leaving a note or piece of literature within a customer's delivery are indeed a violation of the Full-Service Shopper Account Access Guidelines.”  When I explained this to Seth he said, “Well you can’t go around town promoting yourself on their platform and expect them to be OK with it.”  He leaves me speechless sometimes.  I am glad he is there to speak the truth into my life.

            Later in the week, I was telling Seth, “I should probably get a real job anyway.”  His response was, “Maybe you should be applying for jobs right now instead of playing Pokémon Go.”  Goodness – he’s spot on L.

            Seth and I went to put our passport applications in.  I was mentioning that I wished I had done this earlier because my friends were enjoying anniversary trips to Mexico when Bobby and I had just gone to the beach (which was enjoyable).  Seth asked what was so special about Mexico.  I told him since their currency is less we can stay at really nice places and get amazing service for a good price.  Seth replied, “So you are just going down there to exploit them.” 

            So, having an 18-year-old is pretty eye-opening.  It’s interesting to see his perspective on things and gasp for air in the process.

            I am very blessed in that Bobby does support us.  I don’t need a job.  I need to get my self-worth from God’s love, not my productivity and this has been made clear to me.  I am not worthless just because I bring in less.

            Bobby has been kind and loving in this whole trial.  He has listened, given advice, and been loving thru it all.  Bobby also made dinner and has been drying spaghetti sauce for his upcoming camping trip with the youth group. 

            I enjoyed time with Bobby watching a comedy show that one of our former youth put on.  Ty Boice has always been entertaining (especially in Junior High). 

            Bobby and I also rejoiced with Elliot and Grace Lownsberry on their wedding day.  It was perfect in all ways and I cried when we all sang praises to God.  What a testimony!

            Adriel did have me over to her place for a bit and it didn’t smell bad.  I enjoy her company and am proud of her gumption.  She does say she misses us and that is very sweet.  Pray for her continued safety as she did say it is scary living alone.

            May God bless you and may you be amazing enough to not need any of God’s hard work in your life.  Phew – life is not always easy.  Love and hugs,

 

 

Cristy

8/2/21

 Dear Family,

                Bobby and I went to two weddings this week.  Seth came to the second because he knew the people.  It is fun, lovely, and sweet to rejoice in love.  I enjoy the stories, food, and smiles.  Weddings are mood lifters and I am glad love still wins even thru COVID times.

Bobby enjoyed visiting his dad this week.  They went fishing and had a good conversation.  I am glad they enjoyed their time together.

Adriel is dealing with ants and a bad smell at her new place.  She is still glad to be moved out but the responsibility of adulthood is weighty (especially working so many hours).  She is going ahead with college plans as well.  I don’t know how she will do it all.  Adriel did call me just to chat this week.  That was very sweet and reminds me of my relationship with my dad.  He is an encourager in my life and is usually available.  I love connecting with him and hearing how he is doing.  I also know he will listen.  I hope to be that for Adriel.

                I don’t see Seth on weekdays since I am gone before he wakes and he comes home after I’m asleep.  When I went to prayer group I snagged him for my one hug a day (because his job is cleaning the church).  He obliged and I felt glad to see him for that short moment.

                May you also enjoy the short bits of time you see friends or family.  May you rejoice with those committing their lives together and may you find joy in the beauty that surrounds us.  Much love,

 

 

 

Cristy