Saturday, December 25, 2021

Merry Christmas Funnies

 Merry Christmas Friends!

 

Thank you for indulging me as I bring out the funniest comments of my year.  First I’ll give a paragraph about our doings.  Husband Bobby remains the Youth Pastor at West Hills Community Church.  15 years and going strong.  Adriel is a Legal Receptionist and studying paralegal work at Portland Community College.  Seth is studying computer science at Chemeketa Community college and continues working as the Church Custodian.  I am working at Fred Meyer.  We enjoy the peaceful life God has given us. 

On to the funnies!

            Do you ever find yourself pondering why people do something THAT way?  Our kitty was meowing and meowing with demand.  Finally, I showed her I had already made her favorite food and it had been there the whole time.   I wondered aloud, “Kitty, why didn’t you see that?”  Bobby said, “She has a brain the size of a walnut.”

In Youth Group Bobby said, "I will give Rich a terrible task.”  Someone asked, “Will you make him eat mustard?” 

I announced I would be giving the kitty a bath.  Bobby said, “Time to update your will.” 

Prayer request time can also bring up an interesting conversation.  One student was excited that the salmon eggs in the class had hatched.  Bobby wanted to share his knowledge.  He said, “And do you know what baby salmon are called?”  After a bit of stuttering, the person said, “Salmon, salmon, salmonella?”  (The answer is fingerling.)

In youth group, someone said, “I was just asking what flavor her shoes were.”  The person next to her said, “Black?” The person next to me said, “Dirt with a hint of gum I stepped on yesterday.”

Seth does not like Sriracha chocolate-covered almonds.  I quote, “Nothing is satisfying about them.  There is only pain.”

            I like pesto sauce.  Seth said that when I added pesto sauce to spaghetti noodles, “That’s not spaghetti, that’s an abomination.” 

            When we asked Seth if he wanted a large or smaller Graduation party he said.  “Let me think, um, neither.”  COVID helped that be a reality.

            The administration at Seth's High School graduation said, “No one may throw their graduation cap.”  The ceremony was over.  3 people threw their caps.  Seth did it.  He threw his and turned red.  Then he picked up his cap and someone else’s and gave it to them.  

When asked, “Seth, how does it feel to be an adult?”  He said, “I can’t wait to pay taxes.”

I found Seth eating a whole unpeeled carrot, just like a farm boy.  When I mentioned how cute that was he said, “Well it’s better than eating those chemical pebbles they call baby carrots.”

On St. Patrick's day, I told Adriel to wear green and she said, “They aren’t going to pinch me at the law firm mom.”  Bobby said, “Yeah, they could sue.” 

            July 5th was hard for me.  Adriel had three jobs that day.  She was the receptionist at the law firm.  She had a 6-midnight shift at the ASAP market in Lancaster and then Tuesday morning she did not come home.  This scared me.  After calling ASAP to confirm the last time someone saw her alive and the boyfriend who had not seen her – aghhhhhh, I was freaking out.  Adriel contacted us saying she was house sitting.  Bobby was not impressed when I said, “Oh yeah.”  She really has to tell Him these things.

After Adriel moved out, Bobby asked if anyone had heard from her.  I said, “Well, we can’t assume she’s dead anymore.”  Seth came back, “We can, . . . . but it’s unfounded.”  So, that began a new chapter of our life.  Not knowing Adriel’s whereabouts had to become OK.

Adriel does come home to put laundry in the washing machine.  I mentioned, “We have a guest.”  Bobby and Seth were like, “Who?”  I said, “They have laundry.”  Bobby was like, “Is it Adriel?”  Seth goes, “No just some random homeless guy.”

May you enjoy the simple joys of life.  May you be glad that Jesus came to forgive.  May the freedom and joy being forgiven brings make you filled with grace – able to love others even if they are mean to you. 

 

Much Love,

 

 

 

Cristy VanKleek




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